I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
you know your drunk when 7 soccer players cant catch up to a tranny in high heels who just stole your wallet
I did a mental Irish jig when he pulled out the second condom.
I've replaced the bottom of the food pyramid with alcohol.
I'm having a chugging contest on the streetcar. The driver is judging.
Plus someone just passed me a joint through the window. BEST STREETCAR RIDE EVER
Do you know many girls there are in gay bars waiting for me to do coke off their tits? A lot.
The best way to start drinking is as early as possible. eg, this bar isn't open but we're patiently waiting outside. That way you're confident and exciting when the talent arrives. Or too drunk to care.
Come down here. We are watching people walk through the paper we taped in front of the elevator.
Just woke up from a weed coma and found a stem in my bra. Rainy day success.
It's like a double rainbow in both sides of the sky mixed with The Jeffersons.
I'm not taking advice from anyone I've seen passed out naked at noon on the hood of a strangers car. Meaning you.
I`m watching Shallow Hal & Jack Black has better nipples than Jimmy's chick.
It's volleyball. Just do it. You want to look sporty. Save sexy librarian for another day.
We should try to put a bagel on your penis
You're a wizard. You are a master of disguise. You are beautiful. I love you.
Randomize
