From behind she looks like Richard Simmons
they almost convinced me to put "Funbags" in the 'other names you may be known as' section of the job application
so she sprained her ankle somehow and her friend had to carry her out while all 7 of us watched. do we even need to vote on that or is that automatic induction into the hall of shame?
she has a fucking refrigerator full of four loko and is charging 15 dollars a can.... she is like a mini donald trump
P.S. I just watched The Muppets. I feel like I just got a sadness enema.
got one for peeing in public....called the cop a donut dunking communist...should be a fun court appearance
I misjudged the power of my pelvic thrusting capabilities. His nose is broken. Thoughts?
I feel like I deserve an award for facing my fear of penises in my face.
No worries, I've prioritized my homework into "can do drunk" and "should be sober" categories. We're good.
Well if YOU HAVE TO KNOW, we're laying across the street from the bar on that grassy hill trying to see who's she's with at the bar.
He made me chicken tenders and margaritas in preparation for me to take a pregnancy test at his place later tonight. Like...seriously.
My hair tie broke, stole my one-night stands daughters pink sparkly one. BEST hair-tie I have ever used...
You shouted “im bobby labonte!” In the process of shoutgunning a beer. He said you were too redneck for him...
You went into the bathroom, got in the tub with a pillow, yelled "this isn't as comfortable as it looks in the movies" then passed out
I just found out through a drunken phone call that my parents thought I'd grow up to be a porn star. It's kind of scary how accurate they were at how skilled I'd be at sex.
Randomize
