You know how britney does the hair flip too much in her new videos? Thats me right now
shes about as inviting as chlamydia
She liked every single Facebook status in her newsfeed and then made her status 'I LIKE U GUYS'
I can hear my liver begging me not to go out tonight
WHATEVER CLASS IS PLAYING "TOOT IT AND BOOT IT" AT 8:30 IN THE MORNING, I WANT IN.
THEY'RE. IN. YOUR. BED. THEY RANDOMLY SHOW UP. AND GET IN YOUR BED.
I just walked in on my lesbian roommate having sex in the kitchen, and it was awesome. We proceeded to shots naked together. Happy birthday to me.
Come make me food. I feel like if I go in the kitchen I will just get Gin.. and pass out in there.
I woke up and found cookies in my purse. It's a 12/12/12 miracle.
Doors open. I'm laying in bed watching caddy shack and drinking a vodka tonic.
And I'm out of vodka so bring vodka or 2013 will blow ass
What does it say about my expectations if I'm pounding three beers the hour before a date?
After you passed out we took your car to the campus and stole a 150lb plaque that's now in your trunk. Happy birthday!
If you're going to do that you're going to need a pleather suit.
I'm about to go get lunchables and alcohol. Take that adulthood
He only has one ball. it was like fucking a cyclops.
Randomize
