Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
No she wasnt mad! I told her that I "mis-remembered" nailing her friend.
he pissed his pants, and she still wants to hook me up with him. I try not to date guys with bladder control problems... Unless they're loaded anyway.
You know it's an interesting night when you drunkenly scream at your boss, "You'd make a HORRIBLE OBGYN!! You're hands are ENORMOUS!"
He only uses me for sexual pleasure. The sad part is I don't even feel like a slut. I just I feel like I should just live in the top drawer of his nightstand....for free of course.
We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
I love my roommate; her alcohol problem, her proclivity for passing out on the living room couch, and her fucking awesome size d tits that can never remain clothed. Craigslist jackpot.
The bartender just asked me if I owned stock in Jameson. I've been here for less than an hour and he's already judging me.
His roommates came in and started a dance party in his room while we were having sex. He said it wasnt the first time.
When you finally get laid, I shall make you a trophy out of dildos
My serious response to your Cathy tattoo inquiry- Do you ever want to get laid by someone not wearing a Blossom style bucket hat? Tattoo accordingly.
Ooo, yeah! Thanksgiving will be a blast. Can't fuckin wait for the next round of "have you found a nice young man yet?" Followed by a lovely helping of "don't worry, there's someone out there for you."
I'm a hopeless romantic with the sex drive of a married politician. IM DOOMED.
I just threw up into a baby carriage. There was a baby in it.
Sorry I missed your call. I was in the shower washing away my sins and sweat. Please tell me you want to get drunk as shit later.
Randomize
