some old guy just shit himself in my section. everyones leaving
At the Phils game. My gay buddy just wanted up to a bunch of Mets fans and said "I'm gay, and even I think Mets fans are a bunch of fags." I love this fuckin town.
i felt horrible..i wanted to somehow give him his vcard back
that's a non refundable transaction sweetheart
Im going to hell in a hand basket. With a ribbon tied to my head. I'll be like a puppy for the devil.
I think that "I fucked your little brother" wasn't the best way to introduce yourself.....
I think your dick broke my retainer, I normally wouldnt care but my orthodontist died and I don't want my first appt to be blow job broken retainer with a new ortho.
I just started talking about my sextoy because I wanted things to be normal again.
His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after
Can we make sure camping doesn't turn into forest-orgy?
Lol, last year was UNREAL
I got sucker punched while I was making out with some girl...I think my molar might have flown into her mouth
I just have to point out that once I typed "fa" my phone filled in "fatass"
I woke up with a captain's hat on my desk.
Im at a south american orphan benefit auction drinking stoli in a coffee mug, this is what my life has become, thanks a lot community college
Drunk me also decided it would be funny to change all the passwords on my computer last night. Now I can't log into anything.
Funniest thing happened to Chloe! She talked the bf into a mmf threesome, and he loudly and enthusiastically discovered he was gay during it. Whole dorm literally heard it happen.Well funny for me. Chloe not so much.
Randomize
