My "High Times" magazine came in today, as well as my girlfriend's new sex toys. We're calling in sick today.
the best job he will get is a sex ed teacher in alabama
I gave her a mint afterward. It felt like giving turndown service at Hotel BJ.
He just left me a message saying he left the rest of the weed for me. Did i just get paid for sex? And if yes did i just get paid in drugs?
I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
He had the smallest penis i'd ever seen. I can see why he drinks his life away.
Sorry about blasting sandstorm on a loop when i left for work this morning. But maybe this will teach you to not come home trashed on a tuesday night with some chick and have loud sex till 4 in the morning. The walls are thin, remember?
I think if it were a part of everyone's daily routine, the world would be happier. International Finger Yourself While Bathing Day.
Felt like shit, jerked off, felt ten times better. Being a guy rules. It's like I got all the demons out in 5 minutes.
Just found a pack of birth control on the corner of Oakland and Thomas, so if your desperate its up for grabs.
I need to shower three times. First to be clean, second to wash off all sins, and third will classify as baptism.
who has a one night stand on Christmas ? But he's pretty attractive so thumbs up
We almost ended up sober because of u!!
The thing I'm gonna miss about him is his dick.
long story short, he tried to fuck me standing up, toppled over, and now I have four stitches next to my eye
Randomize
