is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
i just realized how high i was when i was screaming red light challenge at the top of my lungs and am watching it alone
she's doing push ups on the keg. hows a girl supposed to compete with that?
you said you couldnt let go of the fence because your hand was molding to it.
I dunno if you guys are having weird sex or a most accurate bird sound contest but either way stop doin it
struggle bus is officially taking me on a road trip to hell. If this is just the first destination, I'll jump out the fucking window.
I pretty much told him I was too sober for this an just walked away and all I heard was "IT'S BECAUSE IM A BAD KISSER ISN'T IT" OVER AND OVER AGAIN
Also there's a home game tomorrow and I thought about holding up a sign that says, "I madeout with #64 during orientation week" would that be inappropriate??
still not dressed at 5:00, jacking off watching men's figure skating and hoping my weird roommate doesn't walk in. anybody who says idk how to have fun is wrong
You may be fancy. But you'll never be having cheesy garlic bread and scotch at 3am fancy.
Finally get to put my practical writing degree to use! I'm writing a craigslist ad for a threesome
He literally said, while inside me, "I would smack your ass but I don't want to wake my mom up". Amazing.
Tomorrow is my bachelor party. If I die tomorrow, please know I graded you a "check" as a sister. "Check-minus" when you got mouthy.
His mom let me come to his house for a Booty call at 4am. She even cooked us breakfast in the morning and told me im a better moaner than his girlfriend of 4yrs.
She actually made an event on facebook for tomorrow when she does a pregnancy test, 8 people are attenting so far
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