How long do you think herpes can live on chapstick?
If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
He asked about stds. I told him I don't have any... which I don't. They are now called sti's. Whooopsie
found the other keg... it's in the tree
I left a cheeto on everyone's car trailing to the house i'm at, hanzel and gretel style.
You brought out the iron board layed it on the ground in the middle of everyone and passed out for the night
she said "the two best ways to sober up are to nurse someone or give a blowjob" and im gonna go along with it.
So you used a whole package of smoked meat last night. Didn't eat it, just took it out and put it all over the fridge.
Have you seen Dave? He's not on top of the bar anymore but I found his shirt.
i'm exhausted. do you know how hard it is to put together an outfit that is professional enough to secure a babysitting job yet slutty enough to let him know i'm down for sex during naptime?
I distinctly remember holding up a piece of ham pizza and screaming: "WHO THE FUCK EATS HAM PIZZA" in the face of a bunch of scared 13 year old girls faces, while my own sister laughed in mine.
PS: when I ask you if I look fat in a a dress DO NOT TAKE YOUR SWEET ASS GAY TIME to formulate an answer only to tell me in front of our family that perhaps I should buy Spanx. Do you WANT me to tell mom and dad you suck cock? Then be a good brother and have the common decency to LIEEEEEE!!!!
I'm going to write a new song and call it "Did I wax my vagina for this?" remind me to never go across the country for a penis ever again.
Right. Cuz nothing screams "You made it!" quite like selling your used underwear to strangers you met on the internet.
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