Just saw a maroon grand am stop on my street, the driver opened the door, vomited, and then drove away like nothing happened. Been there, done that.
so i had a hang over on saturday and i stayed in the shower for 4 hours, then crawled out, skimpered to my bed, and some kid i didnt know was sleeping in it
some guy just walked up to the bench i was on, backflipped off of it, gave me his number and walked away....i love this city
You've eaten a Lean Pocket for every meal for at LEAST 3 days now. Get your life in line.
Jesus once told his disciples that its better to hang out with your best friend than give some douche bag a bj.
I'm going to try to ignore the homoerotic subtext in that last question...
Pizza toast. It's like pizza but on toast. BC we are broke. OMG its so good.
You would never do this sober.
He's so drunk he thinks he's the ultimate warrior. Told cops he was from parts unknown. Never broke character
Guess who just sucked off 1/5 of one direction?
YOU DRINK NOW BECAUSE YOU ARE A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN WHO DOESN'T NEED A DRINKING PARTNER
He'll only communicate through snapchat with pictures of him holding his cat or his dick. Bit of Russian roulette opening them in public but I did it anyway.
Damn it. Can't order pizza. Can't do the hot tub. No one to invite over for loud, kinky sex. What's the point of being here alone?!
I want your cock. I also want to cuddle you and tell you how amazing you are, because you know balance.
You still owe me one bodily function mess clean up.
You pee on the floor one time and you never hear the end of it...
God, I missed his penis.
Randomize
