I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
We'll probably be arrested for having a cheetah in our apartment anyway, so I say go for it.
you were wearing a pair of wings and handing out McDonalds apple pies, if anyone refers to you as the "Rave Fairy" you now know why.
THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
There just aren't enough words in the English language to convey my deep and abiding love of your cock. So I am beefing up on my Portuguese.
My wife ladies and gentlemen! Love ya babe.
i was in burrito mode and too drunk to move. no fucks were given. none.
I know that we've never been that tight but I want you to meet my cat before I move.
Gotta get new sheets. ..I fucked the satin off mine.
I'm sorry but the visual image of you suffocating on vagina is basically hysterical
I still can't get the taste of her nipples and the udon noodles out of my mouth
By far the fardest thing to do drunk is open a band aid
No more bourbon. Sleep now. I may die. Pray for me.
I have wine with a bendy straw bitches I can do fucking anything
I haven’t been this excited since I found out they sold cases of Jack Daniels.
I just thought you should know... Instead of a glass of wine before bed I am having a few shots of 1800. This is what being a night shift nurse will do to you... Standing in your kitchen in your undies doing shots
Haha word. Sure I can do that. Help me find which bar has my pants and you'll get free tacos all week
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