I've had that scene from "Parenthood" where Rick Moranis' character is singing "Close To You" to his wife in classroom, stuck in my head all morning.
I guess my mind is just wondering whatever happened to Rick Mornais.
If Jon and Kate can get divorced...how hard can it be for me?
So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
Why did you video tape me drying my boxers in the microwave?
maybe we can find two twins tonight and bang them together and then my life is complete
your goal of the night was to unlock your iPhone with your nipple. You're going places.
as I was walking out the door her and her roommate started singing "toot it and boot it".. I'm in love
Just saw a drunk guy clapping and cheering for a chipmunk climbing up a tree. Classic
He broke the bed, AND shit in the closet. What a way to lose his virginity. What a night.
Oh dude I know. When something that's supposed stop pregnancies taste like chocolate something's up
Did I tell you guys I was bisexual last night? I just had a flashback
I know you like got hit by a car but do you want to come to my birthday pardi
Drunk you wants to be petty, not you you.
She used a candle as a shot glass.. A FUCKING CANDLE BRO!!
Not drinking until my bday. I know it's only a few days but it feels like when couples get celibate before the wedding and there's all that tension.
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