Ahhh... Adderall running out my nose in the shower really brings back memories.
Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
Now I'm watching The History of Sex on the History Channel. They're talking about how repressed the 30s were. I think I understand why grandma is such an angry person.
Their bromance is so intense that they don't even eye-fuck when they see each other....they eye-make-love.
He just made a mudslide using rubinoff and swiss miss packets. This can't end well....
My cab driver just texted me 'goodnight beautiful'. I think my 'desperate for a guy phase' has just moved into a fuck my life phase.
The guy in the cast riped the tap off the keg and hit steve with it
Last night I texted her to confirm she could start designing costumes for my show this week.
That is one convoluted booty call.
It'd be a romantic, consensual abduction
Most violent shit of my life. New Years resolution of eating better is already kicking me in the face.
So I'm thinking that so long as I have this piercing, I'm going to get tested for explosives at the airport
Now some guy that's in my phone as " Alex lip ring hot" is texting me and I don't where life is taking me
I'm not coming to work today because tequila
She's high and screaming MEREDITH IS A WHORE
He spent three years trying to get a chance with me and finally broke me down. then he came in two minutes and was so upset he locked himself in the bathroom so I helped myself to his weed and left. Wanna get stoned?
Randomize
