I hope you have a really shitty weekend. I love you.
This is why I'm not putting my name in lights over your bed.
Superbowl + Mdma, hope we're on the same page.
I knew we should have skipped class earlier, my lab partner is drunk from last night and making up his own experiments.
this is a time for prayers...seriously
let us hold hands and pray.. sweet baby jesus please bring us some sweet sweet man loving this homecoming weekend to aid our lonely vaginas it has been a long couple of weeks amen.
it's kinda bad that we're already planning travel arrangements to his funeral
Yeah, clearly. And then we can float around my room on Christmas themed inner tubes. And drink, I guess.
just for future reference, lake water is NOT mix for hard stuff. nor is it an adequate substitute.
Yeah, but I think it would be a little awkward to explain to Mom that the girl I brought for lunch is not my girlfriend but just a fuck buddy who I met after she hit and totaled my car last month.
He had a drawn-on fu manchu and now my vagina has one too.
He sent me a snapchat of him singing wrecking ball. Guess what the wrecking ball was. Hint: he literally came.
I just got nudes while talking in the third person. Not sure if I Should be proud or ashamed.
Tell the cops to let you through! Tell them you need to do drugs!
Moral of the story: next time my plans include you and bourbon, I'm packing a toothbrush.
we used a blowdryer last night to warm up our left over pizza..it worked perfectly at first..but then the chili powder got into his eyes..
Randomize
