.....so he has a son. Josh. That is not his roommate
I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
just as he was about to cum he started shouting "I THINK I CAN! I THINK I CAN!" over and over again.
I slept with some guy because he drew a dinosaur on my arm
Just scheduled a cocaine deal around my drug counsler appointment. Why yes, thank you, I do enjoy the irony that is my life.
So, I picked up my 7 ft tall lamp post and used it to close my door. I feel quite accomplished.
the general consensus of people in the room is that i should have another bottle of wine.
"people in the room" being me.
I told my dad that bagels were the equilelent of angels kisses and if he bought me one i would do a split
They put me in charge of something. Why the fuck would you look at me and put me in charge of something while i'm double fisting peach mimosas at a baby shower
He asked me what I wanted the cake to say and I then asked him if "I'm sorry for throwing up in your bed last night" was too long. He said it was...
She was purple for Halloween. She literally spray-painted herself purple and called it a costume. It won't come off.
fuck whipped cream. I'd eat vegetables off those abs
it'll be okay! And just think of this ultrasound as the most action you've had in a month...
I'd give my right arm to start my period. My right arm. Thats more significant then my left.
you poured beer in your mouth so you could be a beer pong cup for her to drink out of/make out with
Did it work?
Randomize
