you'd think he'd be slightly more humble with a penis that small
im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
No, I'm never going to get a job bc I don't know anything about public relations except that Chris Crocker wants everyone to leave Britney alone.
He's drinking red wine in a margarita glass. He couldn't be more perfect for me.
Printing the vagina inspector badge was money well spent.
tequilla shots with my grandparents? christmas visiting just got so much better
While he was gone for spring break I took his head board... I don't wanna wake up from his shenanigans for the rest of my college career.
Great. I will show up in your office wearing only oven mitts later today.
You merely adopted the alcohol. I was born into it. Molded by it. I didn't see the hang over until I was a man and by then it was only blinding.
You popped the Plan B pill then clapped twice, said "mischief managed" and headed tward the bar.
Made eye contact with his twin sister the day after he gave me a lifechanging blowjob. Do you think she knows?
Everyone thinks I'm sleeping but I'm actually just melting.
She bruised my penis again. But, trooper I am we kept on going.
I have 4 more smokes and 6 more beers to go before I make a life changing decision like that.
He asked me to describe my life outside work. I responded with "Home-wrecker.
Randomize
