I just put out an orange level terrorist threat on her punani
Looks like I will be paying for the roofie I slipped myself in 9 months.
the level of his annoyance + every insult he makes = the closer I am to telling him im fucking his ex
i got totally wasted at 2pm and cleaned the house bc i was bored. my mom now supports my alcohol problem
Party priorities: alcohol > girls > music > cups > decorations
First date: that requires underwear, huh?
She definitely looked like a troll, but I had take one for the team. Or at least thats what I keep telling myself
I remeber being on the roof last night and we put our heads togeather and we touched each others face and said "Hennessyyyy"
Nearly got hit by a blue bell ice cream truck. Can I count on you to make plenty of puns like "her life was sweet, and so was her death" at my funeral if that was to happen?
Currently at a fetish club with a set of swings (don't ask). Having flashbacks to the park by my house
It's a little hazey but I think I tried to request Nelly last night. There was no dj. Not sure who I was talking to
Well if YOU HAVE TO KNOW, we're laying across the street from the bar on that grassy hill trying to see who's she's with at the bar.
This guy wants me to put ice under his foreskin. What!?
I didn't have any lime for my chaser.. so after my shot I ate a handful of lime flavored chips. Didn't work so great.
My vibrator turned on under my pillow when I was taking a nap this morning... I nearly shit my pants.
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