She went from zero to smokin in five shots
You kept screaming "Its taco night!" before every shot
Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level
She just looked down there and said "i breed horses. this is better than anything ive ever seen."
He just referred to his foreskin as a snuggie. Help.
We should celebrate the resignation of Berlusconi tonight with too many bottles of wine and sambuca. We're allies, right?
Im sitting in church with a backpack full of beer bottles. This is friendship.
It sounded like he said "don't stop" but all I could hear were his balls.
I am so excited I do not know how I will sleep.
It's like the Christmas morning of dicks
Everytime I get drunk I wake up hugging the bag of bagels from three months ago
the amount I squirted last night was insane. Im glad i ignored tlc's advice, i went chasing waterfalls and loved every god damn minute of it.
Did I wash my face last night at your house? Where did my eyebrows go??
Just threw up in a baggy on the airplane. The guys next to me clapped and bought me a jack and coke.
Livin the dream
When he said he lived in a closet I thought he meant his room was really small or something... But he actually has a queen size mattress on the floor of his roomates walk-in closet.
Just filed for child support I hope he gets the paperwork on Father's Day
Randomize