Needless to say, wine tasting turned into wine chugging
SO stoned. Sitting in just a thong in front of a fan. NO work for a WEEK! Life is good :)
Just took a closer look at the paper that kid wrote me his number on. It was an ATM receipt. His balance is $17.89. i made the right choice.
I'm not gonna not go for it, she's foreign and pulled a shotglass out of her thong.
I wanna get "leaving my dick in charge" drunk.
Look. You've gotta stop making this about you, and make it about my vagina.
I haven't gotten it in awhile but since spring break is next week I'm willing to have a pregnancy scare if it means no bleeding through the suit
Yeah wouldn't want it to interfere with beach sex. Nothing should interfere with beach sex
What do you want to swallow. Press 1 whiskey press 2 rum
Made out with a mannequin all morning in cpr training, so im ready to party
I'm 25 and I shit my bed last night. And I'm telling you about it. Not sure which is worse
It's amazing how hard it it while drunk to not comment "fuck you" on dumb peoples' statuses
I'm 4,715,723% sure I don't give a fuck.
just licked whipped cream off some model's nipple... just coming clean for when the pic gets on instagram because i am not untagging that shit
All I want is to get shitfaced and fuck random strangers is that really to much to ask?
How high do u want to get? Just kind of high or yelling at swans high...
Swans
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