Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
My professors need to stop cancelling class. Bad things happen when I have too much free time on my hands. Bad things.
new girl just came onto the hall stumbling drunk with no shoes on and the guy who brought her doesn't have them either
I'm also glad were at the point in our friendship where my vagina talking to you isn't weird
She fucked me for a ride to the airport. If this is what the rest of college is like, I'm never graduating.
Bought two parrots for us. I'm keeping them at the Bellagio.
and I keep making him eat me out and buying me presents, this is paradise. I wish he cheated on me earlier.
As I am reading this. I'm standing in my underwear eating taquitos. I'm saying this in the most loving way possible: FUCK OFF.
I guess I made wings because there's chicken everywhere. Even on the walls. 3 of them. It's like a chicken grave yard.
Go forth Daniel, drink, be merry... And meet some hot Asians for your friends to bang
Strangers are buying me shots and I got hit on by lesbians. How is it only tuesday
Would it be wrong to text my ex and say "congratulations on the new baby that you had with a stripper"?
I took out a life ins. policy Thursday. It's okay I can die in Nashville now.
Put down the Captain Crunch and get over here. It’s a dickfest!!
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