omg, he ripped it...he ripped my vagina...best. night. ever.
dude why did you let me call her?!
i told you it was a bad idea and to quote you exactly, you said "no, it's a good idea..that's what people do when they love each other." you met her 15 minutes prior to that conversation...
there needs to be a "man fax report". like car fax. type in the guys name and bday and up pops all the bad shit he's ever done.
Dude if I didn't piss myself last night I dont think I would have woke up in time for work.
ra ra ra ah ah
wtf?
sexting lady gaga style
idk if its the weather or the "im still drunk" or the morning sex i just had with my roommates gf but that was def the most enjoyable walk in the rain ever
i remember getting really pissed off when you wouldn't let me sleep in the garage with your cat.
WHY DO SO MANY HOBOS THINK I'M CUTE.
She gave me a handjob at the dinner table while her dad was carving the turkey. I made eye contact with him. Im pretty sure he knew.
Only thing I got out of his drunken Spanish is something that sounded like "pencil sharpener." Damn rosetta stone.
I think I need to donate blood to see if I have Hepatitis. Again.
He doesn't care. He wouldn't care if my vag grew arms and smacked him in the face.
His dad and I had a drunk conversation about life. At 4 am he told me that I was 21 and cute and should fuck whoever I want.
Her handjob consisted of slapping me in the balls. I am never hooking up with her ever again ever.
only you would understand that I was talking from the perspective of my boobs
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