Just be blunt and say drink from my dick
please tell me if i'm home and in my bed
negative
come find me please
I dumped him because he's never seen star wars. I'm certain I did the right thing.
but instead of smelling like hand cream and homemade cookies, she smells like a yeast infection.
but what if he tries to talk dirty to me with the lisp?
BABIES FOR EVERYONE. I'd be like Oprah except with babies
You know you're hung-over when you're smoking and have the strong urge to eat the cigarette. No more buckets of gin. No. More. Ever.
this one kid was speed-mumbling about putting broccoli in the printer
Is there a polite way to say "Sorry for your head injury but I still want to hook up"?
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
im glad im back to a point in my life where i have enough sex to sometimes be offered and be like naw im good.
OMG he dropped his pants for me. Granted it was to show me where he got stabbed but still...
I didn't see her "bad karma" tattoo until after I was balls deep
What a way to start the day. Staring at penis for 3 hours
It's pretty much my favorite thing ever
Hey? Just a hypothetical. You ever accidentally kill somebody's cat on purpose? Like you didn't mean to but it had it coming? If you're wondering it tripped me while I was walking down the stairs and I landed on it as I fell.
Randomize
