3:38a: you guys up to anything right now?
i just puked in front of my entire floor a girl on crutches asked iof i needed help hahaaa fuck ima damn fool
I learned the names of so many hookups when they read them at graduation
He was about to puke, and so I handed him an empty beer can. In retrospect, not very helpful.
she was in the bathroom washing her eye makeup off with hand sanitizer.
The great thing about vietnam is that if I'm drunk during the day people just think I'm being white
I was an emotional waste case that night. She made me stroke her ponytail.
Evidently I told a girl she should leave the bar because no one wanted to fuck her.
I just used cruise control in a 25 zone. When will this hangover end???
Running into your random closeted hookup from last night is really awkward when you have to sit next to him and his girlfriend in a 200 person class.
Today wasn't Sunday Funday, it was more like Sunday god is taking a shit on my life day
So, I have realized that I am kryptonite for married men. I'm not sure how to feel about this sober, but drunk me accepts her destiny.
My stuff that was at your place last night smells like doughnuts. I'm not even mad.
You yelled at me about a fork.
You probably deserved it, I'm very territorial about my cutlery.
I tried making my own red bull with crushed up caffeine pills, bubbley water and flintstones chewable vitamins. The ER doctor sead I'm lucky to be alive.
Randomize
