walked into a party last night, i saw 3 ex gfs standing in a circle talking to each other...that's the quickest u-turn i've ever made in my life.
i walked into the first stall,, but there was no paper, so i'm in the other one. a little kid is in the one without paper now and is making a lot of noise. curious how this'll turn out for him.
He doesn't like you, he likes u not having a gag relfex
i cant belive i got a ticket! i know what his dick tastes like!
Me+graduation party+hammered drunk+polish horseshoes in the dark= black eye, crying, pissed, passed out in my dress... How was your weekend?
HE'S turngign 18teen real soon.k
just found out i can blow out the flame on the grill lighter fill my mouth with butane and ignite a fireball
It's all coming back to me. I drank moonshine from a milk carton from a guy named tomohawk last night.
Lets ignore the fact that you want to turn your dorm room into a sex dungeon and focus on the real issues here.
I didn't talk to any girls wearing masks because I wanted to avoid making the big mistake of making out with my sister.
Both our collective sex appeal dies once someone cums on a snuggie kayla
I bet my lungs hate me more than my liver
That's a hard toss up
its not like i called off work either time for the purpose of tripping, it was more like well, i have nothing to do now today, there is acid and im only human.. but twice
And then I remembered we banged to Beethoven & I was like you will never get this ass again
If you ever tell anyone I offered you boob squeezes for cheetos, I'll kill you
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