dude, my own friends sent me home from a party last night. real cool assholes. real cool
the ice cream truck is coming omgomg
dude, it's 2 am.
but its COMING
My Nuvaring birth control makes me queef.
Tiger Woods should have just walked in, gave everyone a high five, and left.
I find it ironic that im starting my birth control on mothers day.
Reading in my econ of energy textbook about the US' largest oil spill from the 1990's.. guess i can't sell this one back either
nah, they dropped the charges. apparently ripping his junk when he tried to hop the fence seemed like punishment enough...
He gave me a trycicle he stole from a kid as an "offering" to have sex. I couldnt say no when he went through all that.
she's unstoppable after she starts doing shots and yelling NANNER
I think the exact words were 'I'd lett him to the weirdest shit to me'
Woke up in the ER with a nurse holding my tongue together inside of my mouth and a shattered jaw, the last thing I remember is opening the 151, care to fill me in?
Lol I screamed "GOT AN ORDER OF VERSACE TACOS UP" and the whole kitchen was just like who the fuck is this kid
Probably won't be invited back there again considering last time his purebred corgi ate my pot brownie and had to be rushed to the hospital.
i just realized... if i ever hook up with someone on my bed, we'll be fucking atop my animated batman themed bedset.
I just bought a blender and 120 pizza rolls. Bring tequila.
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