remember when she hit me with her car by accident, well apparently it wasn't an accident.
Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
Dude we got so high last night. I said "watch this" threw a goldfish cracker in the toilet, and laughed my ass off. We watched the dvd menu for 30 minutes too.
this bucketlist has just become an excuse for me to be slutty, and i'm not even ashamed
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
Hey, 'thunder cock' as proud as I am for you getting laid, could you put a muzzle on her? I have to be up at 5, thanks.
No, its ok. Im playing strip pretty pretty princess im currently dueling for the crown
I really appreciate you zipping up my pants at the bar. You didn't even ruin my Bermuda triangle.
Have a glass of wine with dinner they said. Your hydrocodone has worn off they said... NOPE
I just realized I haven't had a date or a potential possibility of a date in about a year. Then I realized I wanted to actually go on a date. But I'm sitting here getting high instead of being at a party. Life.
I broke her handcuffs. I feel like an animal.
she doesn't even know what year it is. She just stumbles around life with a bottle of rum
You danced?!
I just jiggle to the beat like a sexy lava lamp
We probably are going to die. So. Thanks for agreeing to be my Maid of Honor even though I torture you.
I see more hoeing in ur future
Randomize
