We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
Sandwiches eeeeeeverywhere.
I'm drunk and I'm watching it's Alwyas Sunny and eating candy. Even I am jealosu of my life
We hung out in the bathroom the whole time and talked about sex and watched some girl pee. If you don't believe I was there, check the bathtub for bread crust.
But you wanna know what the sadest part is? I had to smoke on the way back home cause my mom would be suspicious if I wasn't high after I was supposedly hanging out with you.
just when i thought we would make it home without incident he tried to walk a police dog
Why do you think it's a no-pants party?
Invite says "dress to impress". Her fault for leaving it open to interpretation.
I have to finish a biography for history and write a review on it so naturally I was like "getting high will make this more bearable" and now I'm basically inside the book at the revolutionary war with this guy.
I think curling is the best thing to watch when you're baked.
i just got referred to as "the Loch Ness Cockster". God bless my Scottish heritage.
He ripped my sink off my bathroom wall and then threw up in it.
Dude we need to hang out soon. I'm in the mood to get arrested again.
On a serious note, don't let me forget to tell you about firecracker baseball. I'm glad I have my fingers. I had to count them.
Fast is cars. Home is I now. Drunk yoda me is.
He’s tiny, hairless and humps my leg when he wants sex. He’s basically a chihuahua
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