she told me her fantasy was her as a 55 year old cook at a truck stop who smokes a pack a day, and I was the 21 year old illegal immigarnt prep cook.
Vanilla vodka + chocolate soymilk does NOT equal an epic milkshake.
the homeless guy was waiting for me this morning. this is the closest to a boyfriend ive had in years.
i'm drinking whiskey out of a ziplock bag in a movie theater. i'm THAT girl.
SEXX, SEXX, SEXX,SEXX,SEX SEX SEXXXXXXX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEXSEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEX.\nimagine that to the can can song. also come to my house. theres a dance routine.
Look, I'm just saying, she looks like a troll and works indefinitely at a shitty Chinese restaurant, so me sleeping with her boyfriend is the least of her troubles...
so it took us like 45 minutes to get into the party.... then when we wanted to leave we were blocked and forced to stay.
....you got kicked INTO a party??
We smoked with this guy who looked just like Hyde from that 70's show in an alley. It was a divine moment in my life.
I miss my teeeeeeeeth. They're in a bag in my hand.
She'd probably like you more if you'd stop fucking her husband.
Like, I just want a guy who will drop what he's doing to come touch my vagina whenever I want and to leave me the hell alone whenever I want. Is that SO MUCH TO ASK??
With a word you would own me. At your command I would walk to your house completely naked.
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
Just saw Little Red Riding Hood riding a guy on hood of a car
Good for her for committing to the costume
I got sriracha sauce on my mask while I was eating fast food, now wearing it makes me hungry
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