ahhh, you guys look like a cute little family in the cop car!
atleast your grandma didn't give you her USED dildo just so you wouldn't have sex.
I asked what she wanted from Hawaii. She said a baby like Aaden from JK 8.
where am I supposed to find one of those?
IM NOT LETTING YOU PEE ON ME IF THATS WHAT YOURE GETTING AT.
so I'm in athletic shorts, a suit jacket and I'm still drunk at 6:30am at the last leg of relay for life
I just peed in the Schreyer honors college shrubbery. Thanks honors students, you're finally good for something
How did currency from Costa Rica make it's way into my wallet...?
He said he forgot to take his shoes off, and that he was a bad boy because he was walking on the carpet. Then he sang. Then he shouted "I'M STILL FORGETTING."
Chef at hibachi place learned it was my bday and sprayed 20 second count worth of saki in my mouth. Not sure it was the right image to share with my kids, but thought you'd be proud.
Trying to find a card for this engagement party. Can't find one that says "you met each other 5 months ago, cant wait to get the popcorn out and watch this one fall apart"
no one ever believes me when I try explaining to them that your straight. I'm all like, "yeah that's his girlfriends dress he's stretching out"
But on the plus side, what he lacked in size he made up for with speed. And grunting.
I gave her two orgasms and then we laid there and she ate jelly beans out of my belly button...that girls a keeper
i made out with his shirt. MDMA, man.
She dropped the call after she told me she doesn't want to hear about how loud he can scream.
Randomize
