you went up to their shower, tripped in it, accidentally turned it on and then claimed that you like to "test everyone's showers"
I realized i make the same noise when i get a blow job as when i eat pizza
how are you not completely traumatized after 8 years of friendship with me?
After the nose/jizz incident i think our relationship can handle anything.
You said my dick was impressive. You thank someone when they say that. My momma raised a gentleman.
I just explained it as we hate everyone in the world more then we hate each other. Thus making us friends. Plus we drink...a lot
I think drinking is the foundation of our friendship
Sounds like it could have been the night you pulled out your love stump at the strip club.
I went to the bar saying i wasn't going to drink that much. I forgot sobriety might as well be some mythical creature when you're with Holleey
I have a breathe right strip stuck to my forehead, several inexplicable bruises and I think someone tried to paint my nails with glue, but I still have my Santa hat. I'm gonna call this one a success.
If I had your job the next day id be on the news. And not the good news. Like fox & friends. Nancy grace would have my ass.
40s are totally the cure
I woke up naked in her room. More precisely, I woke up naked in her room with her and her sister laughing at my penis. I hate my life.
He was publicly touching my boobs before I even knew he's a famous World Cup skier.... That's how hot he was
Social anxiety problems: I just had to get up and change stalls mid-poop because someone sat down in the one next to mine.
Santi's no longer allowed to buy booze in my lane. Last thing I need is a midlife crisis looking at his Id again.
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