I just found a porn show called cleavagefield. no i am not watching.
I did a mental Irish jig when he pulled out the second condom.
Just don't lie down.. Throwing up upwards is NOT cute the second time.
my co-worker, his best friend who also works with us, an my baby daddy, ive turned love triangle into a retarded shape with to many sides to pronounce
did you seriously make the punch out of vodka and food coloring
you spent the rest of the night making a recipe for mixed drink called "the new years bowel remover". it has 13 parts but judging from the bold all caps, the boiled avocado is the most important
The Ex's are trying to talk to the GF. Game face bro.
Do not tell me that that is not the face of a man who has sex with goats.
There's nothing more awkward than going on a beer run with 3 ten year olds....teacher of the year right here!
So how do I get back in good graces for trying to trade you for superbowl tickets?
McDonald's and a car nap. I feel kinda human
It's just a friend who is recently single and I'm going to heal his broken heart with my vagina
You threw up at the outdoor bar and it was pretty...astonishing just how much can come out of such a small human.
Came home to butt plugs and dildos in the bathroom sink WTF
Spring cleaning
I'm at a Tim Horton's and two girls just came in handcuffed to eachother
Randomize
