yeah. you were just sitting there watching transformers, caressing your toaster.
im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
instead of telling him i dont hook up with closet frat guys, i gave him his "straight' fraternity brothers number... pike house will be interesting tonight
I had a dream last night that I had sex with Abe Lincoln. I must stop watching the History Channel before I go to bed.
Hate the very realistic pregnancy dreams. Like my dream when I birthed the pirate ships. SO REAL...
This girl caught me staring at the cat but stroking the computer because it was closer, which is why I hate blunts.
Yes, you can 69 in a fiat. But I think I have permanent nerve damage
OMGGG I JUST SAW A REAL OWL JUST CHILLING ON TOP OF A SIGN POST. I WALKED UP TO HIM AND SAID HOO HOOOOO AND HE TURNED HIS HEAD AT ME AND WAS LIKE YEAHHH BRO
He peed in the bird bath. Those birds are gonna be pissed
The novelty of Nekkid Straight Roommate has faded.
I now have a full length bright red cape in my possession. Best sex trophy ever.
It's meant to be, Cynthia. You, him, and your developed breasts are meant for each other.
Elliott peed on my floor and slept in it lol that's a one line description.
I shouldn't have watched rise of the planet of the apes and then gotten high. I'm now convinced that the cats are out to get me.
The guy i took home was a circus freak. He jerked off 3 times in front me after we had sex. And he came every time.
Randomize
