is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
Numbies before the dentist, such a good idea.
That's cause you yelled across the parking lot you wanted to eat her out
Had no idea what his name was when I woke up. Went through his desk, found his tax records. Ben. And loaded.
He picked me up went to throw me on his bed. I landed on the wood frame. That's how I broke my rib. We still fucked. Thanks tequila. Best injury ever
She had forties taped to her hands and was trying to give him a hand job while he was passed out, with everyone in the living room.
HEAR YE, HEAR YE! BY ROYAL DECREE, I WILL BE KNOCKING ON YOUR DOOR AT 2PM UNLESS YOU GET THE FUCK UP. IT'S 1:50. CIGARETTE TIME, BITCH. I LOVE YOU.
Yea... you were given too many get out of jail free cards. God just gave up on you having a healthy and happy vagina.
She sucked my dick and I swear I almost had to send a search party into her mouth to find it. IT WAS THAT AMAZING.
she's like a sexy human version of my cat. i can't catch her, and she keeps throwing up in the corners.
Red flag bro. Her only friends are barflys and a teen with a fake ID
I went on an adventure and now we have more food.
Well, really we just have fire sauce and cookies. But they're edible.
you licked my face then when I finally got you to the bathroom, mid puke you said you liked the taste of my foundation.....you weren't drunk at all....
Well, she yelled at the stripper that she couldn't lick whipped cream off his nipples because she is lactose intolerant.
And by "I love him" I mean "I want his tongue down my throat.
Randomize
