She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
My wife all of the sudden got markedly better at giving blow jobs. Should I be happy or concerned?
he would probably call me "ma'am" when he's inside me. people love saying weird shit inside me.
I really need to learn how to handle sexual advances from older women
I wish I had your problem
Basically as long as the fan is pointed at my vagina i can cool off enough to sleep.
I would convert to being a Republican and Mormon just to sleep with Romney's sons. The things I would to do them.
U can find me on my couch hungover eatin tuna evaluating my life
I'm going to be fiscally responsible and buy a handle.
he sent me the greatest dick pic I've ever received.
he actually took the time to cut a fingertip off of a glove then put it on his dick like a beanie. he called it hipster dick.
For what it's worth, I didn't think that hitting you with a crowbar as hard as I did would break your arm like that. You should drink more milk.
She's running around the streets punching people and narrating. I don't know whether to laugh or stop her
I'll give you a blowjob in a Santa hat if it will put you in the Christmas spirit
Every time I download Tinder again, I hate myself a little more.
Probably going to live on vodka sodas and fireball shots
And I mentioned the burning debate about your circumcision in my Christmas card to your mom.
Randomize
