No, don't ignore my call, i just need to know, whats cuter a pig in boots or a miniature horse sitting down..
Third unemployed latin in my bed this week. I'm on a roll
you definitely have a few illegitimate kids
probs. Not too worried about it though. MOst girls are too embarrassed that they let me into their pants that they'll never admit its mine
Absence makes the cock grow harder.
she's throwing things again.. almost stabbed herself in the eye with a fork.
Why is there a chicken nugget nailed to my front door?
Just threw up in front of the Boy Scouts on my base. Welcome to the Navy kids.
He was respectful of both me and my One Direction calendar.
Apparently I had 2 bloody noses and after my sis put me to bed at the hotel, I escaped and my sister's friend found me in an elevator with some guy
This whole quitting my bad habits all at once is really messing with my ability to function.
I can't wait to get to LA so I can punch her in the face
I took the beard trimmer to my balls this morning.\nMuch blood. Much blood from my scrotum.
The cop busted in, made the music stop, and goes "GUYS LISTEN UP! DRINK, DO DRUGS, HAVE UNPROTECTED SEX, I DONT GIVE A FUCK, JUST QUIET DOWN!" Best. Cop. Ever.
Hypothetical question: Would it be wrong to tell the annoying children who don't listen to their parents that the motel is haunted?
He just kept going down on me. And he was all like, do you mind? No motha fucka, who would? All of his ex's, apparently. Whatever, he's a gem and I'm keeping him.
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