i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
I asked what she wanted from Hawaii. She said a baby like Aaden from JK 8.
where am I supposed to find one of those?
Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
I was so hungover I threw up on her when she answered the door. i don't think it was a good first impression
I learned to sign I want to be on you today
Score
Deaf chicks here I come
Goddamn it, are you fucking her sister?
did you know it's going to storm tonight?
You bitch. At least tell Laura she's a better kisser.
So he said if we had sex he'd take me to Build A Bear. My virginity is so worth a trip to build a bear.
You're 20.
IT'S BUILD A BEAR!
I just had to google "How do I get semen stains off of drywall." I'm relatively proud of this
woke up with a sweatshirt on that said "someone special calls me grandma" and a sword. i'm just going to assume that it was a good night
Just had a pleasant conversation with a mugger while he was taking off my shoes. Why can't I get along with people like this sober?
Ja rule starts his prison sentence today #3475th reason we should drink tonight
Besides asking our teacher if he enjoyed being fisted did I have any other tragic moments last night?
You were riding my three year old's train yelling, 'I think I can, I think I can!!'
I thought I could.
I just don't understand why your parents aren't supporting your dreams of being a medieval weapon smith.
so i find a box of condoms inside my car with turn by turn directions to her bedroom... kinda freaked out cause she got my address and somehow inside my car
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