Sorry I wasn't really responding earlier. I was really fucking high and so into that car chase.
dude, seriously he just sucked the milk out of the dogs breast and swallowed it... for $20, wtf....?
Seriously man, I'm worried that my dick's going to fall off someday if I keep this up...
Hooking up with him would mean my type has officially become... drug dealer.
We lost track of him for only 10 min and he gets kicked out for sneaking into the kitchen and trying to operate the deep fryer.
Yeah. she rolled up to the party on a unicycle then peed in the bushes. TA of the year.
Oh my God. He stopped counting at 22.. His senior year. I feel the STDs infecting my taint as we speak.
Rather than admit to myself he's hooking up with her right now, I choose to believe that he's not responding because he's masturbating to my picture, distraught over his poor choice, and trying to forget about the one that got away with a heavy dose of meth.
I'm using her two yr old as a arm rest while I attempt to feel her up. Somehow she is allowing it. How this transitions to sex should be interesting.
She called us while she was having sex to ask if we remembered to feed the cat
I dont understand how her boyfriend puts up with her weirdness
She's dipping the chocolate graham crackers in marshmallow vodka for a 'campfire taste'
Watching him and my sister argue over a rum and coke about who's going to chop the coffee table in half with a hatchet...
Omg one side of my Labia is asleep. Has that ever happened to you?
Stuck in the Minneapolis airport for 3 hours with an expense budget and a wine bar. This could get out of hand quickly.
My Tinder date from last night is my Uber driver for tonight's Tinder date...neither of us said a word.
Randomize
