we were having sex in the shower and he dropped me. try explaining THAT to your concerned little brother
Brandy, I need a picture of your boobs. Not time to explain.
An ad on my facebook says "don't be THAT girl". Its like it knows.
He said he had to make up a lie of why he couldnt sleep with her. It must really suck to have a sunburned dick.
3rd rule of buttsex she must be clean and shower recently
and skipped dinner
I might scale it back and go as an investment banker. Which is the exact same costume as James Bond on LSD. I just introduce myself differently.
i'm sitting in the second floor bathroom drinking coronas in the shower. do not find me.
I can't wait for the 4th. I'll probably get drunk and end up puking all over whichever 18 year old I end up making out with.
I'm lowering my standards just so I can get laid, but I draw the line when a guy spells cool kewl
Bro... You handed me an ice cube from your drink and said "tell me if it tastes like pickles".
Oh FYI, people asked how/why I met you and I didn't want to say "drunk at a party on an air mattress" so I made a story up. It was a very cute and charming story with no alcohol.
Im having a st. Get way fucked till i speak Irish pre game party. Bring a compass cause we are about to get lost
We have a vagina exchange agreement. Neither of us can hook up with any of our own law firm's summer associates. So we have a scout and referral program and invite each other to the other firm's summer events. Criss-cross!! Works every summer.
I would climb him like a jungle gym. Enthusiastically and creatively.
Dude I had my dad cock block me once
Randomize