Theyr drawing diagrams to try to explain to me how high they are
It's always a surprise to see what songs I shazamed and downloaded last night while we were drunk at the bar.
After we smoked, the cops questioned us but i just asked if he wanted to join our basketball team.
Funny. I made out with his brother for the first time in a bathroom too.
i took my sailor hat off and used it as a vom bucket
my mom was in labor with me for 32 hours, it's only fair to start drinking now.
Wanna tell me why vodka seeped out of the memory foam when I climbed into my bed?
YOU GOT KINKY WEIRD ICE CREAM HEAD ON FRIDAY DONT EVEN COMPLAIN.
I dropped my blunt out the window of a moving car by accident, tell me everything will be okay
I figured out why her friends always say g is for god when she leaves with someone. She wears a double g cup bra
I found a bag of weed while packing. Now packing is like creating tiny universes inside of boxes.
Your ankle brace is here and the saw is charged. Grab some vodka that cast is coming off tonight.
In other news: I massively over-caffeinated this morning. Everything is vibrating and I can SEE THROUGH TIME
Just threw up in the trash can at my desk. I guess "beating the hangover" eventually leads to this.
My makeup bag looks like it has lips and wants to sing to me... Too high?
Randomize
