really keith? you showed me your dick and your not gonna text me back
you ate skittles off the table like a hungry hungry hippo. it was awesome.
Nope it's a specific set of cards not like a normal ace, queen king thing....kinda like UNO, but instead of yelling UNO you get shitfaced
You sucked the drug dealers dick for a 20 of coke...?
Nooo, I payed for that. I sucked his dick because I had an urge.
All the girls at the party had American flag thongs on... Pretty impressed with coordination seeing as how impromptu this event was
You pulled down your pants, pissed in the recliner, and wiped yourself with my utility bill. I thought it was in the worlds best interest to put you to bed.
it's not like this is the first time she's brought a guy home and I'm the one who hooks up with him
Just had an old man tip me two dollars and say "here put this in your baby fund, you'll have a baby someday" I swear this is gods way of saying GET ON BIRTH CONTROL NOW!
Every time I there's a break up, I'm left with an animal. That's it. No more mutual pets.
Dude, he's legal now. You could not pry me from his dick with the jaws of life.
Some guy is here using a taser on people. I'm up next
its like my brain is a tree and you are those little cookie elves
I just mixed tangerine juice with sauv blanc. on an unrelated note, my episide of intervention is slated to run in April.
Just passed a girl holding a jar filled with what appeared to be diarrhea
Baby Shark came on during sex.
She has BABY SHARK on her sex playlist. Who does that?
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