we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
woke up in a shopping cart using a keystone box as a blanket. how was your night?
this is never going to happen for me, I think he thinks I'm crazy
well you did scream "PLEASE! I'LL S YOUR D IN FRONT OF EVERYONE"
I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
It's 10AM, she's drunk blaring veggie tales and I have a paper to write you've got to be fucking kidding me
I hope you dream of an avalanche of penises
Sorry I invoked the "everyones getting smacked including myself policy last night"
I told you in the isle if you get the one that vibrates that I masturbating with it. Your fault.
Bullshit. You owe me a toothbrush.
Based on my body hair location, my ancestors had very cold hamstrings and very warm chests
I met her daughter,who I went to high school with on my way out this morning. She didn't seem to surprised. I love older women.
He makes balloon animals that get you high? Hell yeah invite him over!
I'm way too hungover for life right now
The kitchen also doubles as a screaming room after midnight as long as you have something to muffle the sound
How’s your Christmas Eve so far?
I just chased my melatonin with red wine. It’s 12:00pm.
what did we do after we left your crib?
you layed down in some rocks for about an hour, you stole some pumpkins, you passed out and started shaking, we got t-bell, we took you back to the dorm.
Randomize
