Why is it that you only get to have sex when you haven't shaved your legs in six weeks and are wearing period stained granny panties?
Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
Any time you start making pro wrestling references before 10 PM I know that I'm breaking up a fight between you and some muscled up frat boy you call Hogan.
do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
Just saw a woman walking a golden retriever and a vacuum down the road. I miss downtown.
The bloodstain in the garden looks like a sad face. Like I don't already know this is bad...
She fucked me for a ride to the airport. If this is what the rest of college is like, I'm never graduating.
I'm in Burlington Coat Factory. This place'd be great if you were on E. There're so many textures...
I'm kinda hoping that if I rub the right object, a genie will come out
I did, I'm just saying. Once the drinking starts my nipples are no longer my control.
List 10 things your GF won't do for you, and we can work through that list.
I'm gonna send you a dick pic now just so your uncomfortable at work
No one wanted to hang out so vodka and I are hanging out
COKE WAS NOT ON THE ITINERARY FOR TONIGHT.
I got copblocked.
What?
Cockblocked. By a cop. Copblocked.
I do have a moral compass! I can’t help it if it only points at penises
Randomize
