Just tried calling my phone on my phone because i thought i lost my phone.
"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
It's like a choose-your-own-adventure. But the adventure is already chosen for you. And it sucks.
I just miserably failed my own drug test. At least I know what a positive will look like when I give them to the employees tomorrow.
There is a woman in the bar breastfeeding a baby. Doing shots. Gotta love maryland Applebees.
I just realized. my grades aren't ready for st patties day...
Please tell me I did not ask the bartender how big his dick was.
I just want to steal his innocence through his penis. I really do.
I can't leave your house without my underwear spending the night.
Balls are being tripped. Said meow to my cat and he said yeah cool dude.
drunk in woodshop so don't even say "I SAWWW THIS COMING." I know you're thinking it.
She abandoned me on the doorstep of her hostel. Turns out you can't bring one night stands into those places. Slept in a train station next to a tramp. He gave me chips. And didn't steal my shit while I slept. So I'm counting this one as a win
answer honestly do you think i can make a bloody mary with ketchup????
I mean I'm completely serious and also drunk.
What a great combination.
I absolutely love waking up to see my phone search history is "xj" "qj" "cj" "uj" and "kj"
Randomize