Listen: if you or anyone else at work finds a starfish in a bowl, just leave it. It'll be gone by next week.
Better yet, if you find it can you put it in the mini-fridge in your office for safe keeping? Spanks.
And if it's going to get me in trouble, maybe just don't mention that I know anything about it.
He just stood there...Helen Keller and I could have had a more interesting conversation
She referred to her collection of sex toys as an "arsenal." I'm not sure whether to be scared or excited....
It just feels wrong masturbating with my neighbor's cat in my apartment
Just so we're on the same page, we cannot have been the first people to have ever thought about shooting that guy with crossbow
I don't really know how to say this, but I have an oven mitt to return to you tomorrow..
I'm not so good at organized events that don't revolve around whiskey or playgrounds.
I kinda feel like I was hit by a Prius. Just glad it's not bus status.
Couldn't finish, so she gave me "the tap," and I had to leave the mound early. Nothing worse than the long walk back after the manager comes out and asks for the ball.
Just wiped the ashes off my forehead before he came over to have sex. Definitely going to hell.
I don't think tits should taste like fish.
I don't know. Seeing the vagina stretched out beyond normal proportions is like watching your favorite superhero die.
Quick question: now that you've broken up, should I also delete the nudes your boyfriend sent me while you were together??
The pandemic has not made Uber drivers any less chatty.
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
Randomize
