If last night was a website it would be called poordecisions.com OR uncircumcisedspanishweiner.org
how hairy? two words: wookie tits
I swear I have "I love assholes" written on my forehead with ink that only guys can see.
new excercise plan: walk a mile get a bj then walk a mile home
While you were puking in the ocean I was rubbing your back saying "Just give it back to Mother Earth".
On my way back to his place to see his "art". Why am I sure this is going to be nothing more than his dick in a box?
Ye. Looking like it's about to be one of those mythical responsible weekends
the potatoes in the margarita machine wasn't the breaking point. its when he turned on the stove and put a bunch of bottle rockets on it that i knew the night had prematurely failed
You could become Eskimo brothers with my dad. How can you pass that up? You pussy.
Any recommendations for how to tell your wife about the pics of her 19 yr old sister on a porn site without admitting you were surfing said porn site?
Idk how much vodka is on these pants but I'm gonna wear them anyway: the biopic
Yeah i like want to be friends with him. And if we have sex in the physics library well thats fine with me
I almost don't wanna have sex with her because I'm afraid she'll steal my hat
All of my friends are hooking up and here I am, the lone asexual, looking for someone to eat these tostitos with me.
I don't trust my subconscious. It sleeps with my exboyfriend sometimes.
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