We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
i'm going to rape that little man
omg not your brother
So after THIS dui, I've decided to stop driving. Not drinking, just quit driving.
HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
Last night must have been awesome, my dog still smells like vomit.
they duct taped my keg cup to my hand with my sister's phone number on it. I should be ok tonight.
If you hit me with your dick and make light saber noises we are breaking up. I don't care if it's your birthday, you are not a sex Jedi.
So is singing the star wars theme as I put the condom on off limits?
This place smells like bottom shelf liquor and broken dreams
Nothing says thanksgiving like acid flashbacks
tom claimed she had a star tattooed around her buttonhole. i am not prepared for this era of skankyness
I don't know what's wrong with me. The guy from bar rescue is making me horny
Also my roomates are going to be gone till sunday. Make correct decision here
Quit calling your parents your roomates
you put your dick on my shoulder this morning like it was a fucking parrot
You were yelling at a tree saying it should be in the forest..
Don't judge me.
How bad is it that I can say that this isn't the first time a married man, who is in the military, has tried to make me his mistress?
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