I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
just accidentally masturbated with tiger balm. best. accident. ever.
Have you not heard of Jennifer's supreme lust for William Shatner? She wants to eat Taco Bell off of his love handles
dude, i have to cancel tonight, my neighbor just bought a goat
No, the sea-green pills were klonopin, the bright blue ones are adderall. you're probably going to have to adjust your plans for the day.
i'm moving back early just in case the freshmen need a tour of the school
oh right the one that ends on your bed
I think i smell like relationship. That's my problem.
I felt so bad for you. Drunk Rachael wanted nothing more than to crawl into the cop car and give you a hug. Luckily Mollied/Barred out Rachael convinced Drunk Rachael this was a terrible idea. So I ran. I have your keys btw
Told him I'd blow him in the bathroom. There was a giant window everyone was looking thru. He whipped it out n I burst out laughing n walked away. Even blackout drunk I set the bar high. You should be proud.
Its bad when you wake up with a penis drawn on your face. Its worse when you find out its traced..
We made out a little and then he gave me some weed. I would say it was a pretty productive stop on my way home
i asked him to talk to me in french while we fucked and halfway through i caught the word 'lasagna'. turns out he was making his grocery list.....i asked him to keep going.
Today, my weed came in a pokéball. I officially love my dealer.
As long as he continues to be our subleaser and continues to fuck me, I think it's acceptable for me to steal a piece of bread here and there.
He was cheering for me from the end of the bar as I sloppily ate a Ruben sandwich. It made me feel really special.
Randomize
