I dint menn to makr ut w brtendr
Wat???
U lft me at bar, no cassh for cab, may have slept with bartender
it was all downhill after the free blackjack taco
Dude I think I vomited on the wireless internet box too...it isnt working.
there is mayo everywhere what the fuckkkk
I would describe it as pure and unadulterated shock, mixed with horror and a touch of nausea.
My one night stand found me at the library and randomly gave me plan B. He was scared I was going to get pregnant because he has a very high sperm count.
Spent the entire ride home from downtown trying to convince designated dawgs to drop us off at waffle house instead of our apartment. i told them it was my house...they didn't buy it.
You just sat there and yelled "I JUST WANT TO RUB MY NIPPLES"
Mandatory 420 Adventure Time.
This is why we're friends.
I did a hand stand against the glass wall at Ziggy's with no panties on and got 3 phone numbers. Thank God I shaved this morning...
Would you and/or him be willing to dress up like the phantom, sing me music of the night and then bone the shit out of me? this is important.
Why are there two phone calls to calgary police in my phone and why is there a voicemail from you asking for bail money
I swear to god those aren't related
I am taking a candle lit bath, blasting some tupac and smoking a fat bowl. This is how every night should end. Did you go take a piss in his car yet?
dad is drunk and texting us pictures of bread
random boy in my bed. last night wasnt a dream. fuck.
Randomize
