Oh i know my limit. 9 shots after i've given blood.
I hope the prosecutor is a dude cause my lawyer is hot.
That's cool how's he been?
He got hit in the face with a beer bottle so he has two black eyes and 13 stitches.. He hasnt changed much.
just peed in the tub. didnt notice the passed out drunk guys there until a minute in
Your sister reminds me of me at her age. Stop her while you can.
At least they aren't charging us for the broken diving board...
Out of all the things I've put my penis in, this seems the most unfortunate.
Have your arms or hands ever gone numb after drinking too much?
Wtf did you do last night?
Pros and cons of selling your underwear to a guy on craigslist. Go.
Come down off the roof.
I had a girl last night tell me that she was happy to find a condom wrapper in my garbage because,and I quote, "well at least you're not raw dogging every slore that crosses your path"
Go forth my little lesbian, get your gayme on
Hahaha more like walk of pride. You entered the lions den last night.
I'm highly inebriated watching star wars, this text was sent via the force
just woke up on the floor of my shower...it was still runnning
You go to class with the flu but don't go when it rains... Get your shit together
Randomize
