We ran out of things to say while we were playing Never Have I Ever so we started playing I Have Done This... Have You?
Ordered a large pizza and definitely just paid the cab driver in pizza slices. I'm glad there's someone out there that's just as fat at heart as we are.
Just described your amazing cock to a complete stranger. I am officially the worst wingman (chick) ever.
Haha, you avoided her at all costs. And then she shoved her tits in your face
Well it's been 24 hours and I still feel like a mammoth sat on my balls
And by go well you mean everyone's hammered right?
Yupp. And someone's bleeding
I'm laying in my house looking at chocolate pudding drip from the ceiling onto my partially erect penis... Yay for shrooms!
I ate shit on a rock, and when I got up this car full of people asked me if I was okay, and I just sprinted away screaming "I am a banana!"
i told her i wanted to be the Neil Armstrong of her vagina,
We got back from the bar and started watching bizzare foods, which subsequently led to the consumption of large amounts of rancid lunch meat and small insects.
if you arent using your penis to save lives, then what good is it?
Yeah, so, that moment when the repair guy comes in and you see your cock ring on the counter one second before he does.
Just cropdusted a little kid that wouldn't get out of my way in Kroger. Welcome to the real world bitch.
I'm pretty sure I regained my virginity last night
There are twenty eight units in that building. There has to be at least one heterosexual in it. You can't have fucked your way through all of it.
Randomize
