Without porn, I would have few hobbies.
do you think they make "congratulations unfit mother" greeting cards?
or abortion recommendation cards.
Exactly how deep of a burn should you have when you pee before becoming legitimately concerned?
My bosses just told me they met their wives on one night stands. I'm stoked.
Were playing beruit winners pelt losers with eggs
She was puking in a plastic bag while cleaning where she puked on the floor. She knows how to multitask.
I'm helping my Mormon ex boyfriend from high school embrace his inner cross dresser. This is truly god's work.
The worst decision I made last night was allowing myself to be duct taped to the ceiling
Youre not supposed to get arrested if your parents fly you home for christmas!
True but this has the bonus of them maybe not wanting to fly me home next year, im good with that didnt wanna go in the first place.
You were visibly distraught that my boyfriend and I didn't have sex in your bed. You forced us to take your condoms.
Just think of your bundle of joy thats on its way. And how hes gunna rip your vagina apart
Die.
Who needs sounds of the ocean? I just fall asleep to whatever chubby he is banging next door.
We smoked with this guy who looked just like Hyde from that 70's show in an alley. It was a divine moment in my life.
And now I have a massive dip in and a Bloody Mary that would catch on fire if you put a flame close to it, with no pants on... At 8:15Am. Being single is pretty legit
it's like that time i was drunk at relay for life. but with balloon animals...
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