just thought you should know that she got home at about 6am.... totally wasted. she was locked out and when i finally came to the door she was on a patio across the street with some random making hotdogs on somebodys elses bbq.
Is it weird being in the house without any roommates?
Nah, just masturbating louder
I feel like a great embryo-shaped weight has been lifted off my shoulders.
even the AIR tastes like tequila.
After the second day the hotel realized I wasn't responsible enough to have a comforter, so they took it for the rest of the trip.
I'm writing my will in case I die this week, it'll be saved on my computer under: little 500 death scenario
say it with me now .. the "golden" penis. his nickname does not disappoint.
Walt I've been the third wheel taking shotssssssssssssssssolo. Each s is for each solo shot.
Quick! What do I wear on a 4 hour road trip with an older guy in the army I had pantomime sex with in a hotel a few months ago?
I opened a bud lite with a fencing sword last night. Yeah you banged that guy.
It was at the same house, but a different party, when lesbians set me on fire. So there's that.
There's nothing more awkward than going on a beer run with 3 ten year olds....teacher of the year right here!
She helped me out of the car and i face planted into the snow.....and just stayed there and took like a 30 min nap.
I'd rather have snapchat than feelings.
I'm 4,715,723% sure I don't give a fuck.
Randomize
