so that guy from last night texted me saying i flashed half of my extended family last night. so classy.
You were so drunk last night you typed www.face.come/cheese.com as if you were logging into facebook.
His drunk text included an attempt at quoting a Nyquil bottle in MLA format
The last thing i remember is saying breakfast beer and carrying the keg to my room and locking the door.
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
For the love of God you used a 40 foot extension cord to bungee jump out the off the 2 nd floor
You kicked in the door when she was blowing him. You dont remember do you?
you left a paper here that says 'to do list' but it looks like you just wrote "drink a bunch of cough syrup and watch Who's the Boss" like 60 times
Which genius got me a voicemail of myself puking?
I really want to fuck that guy in the full wind breaker suit
like every night i go out someone always suggests nipple hugs so that's why I always end up topless
SOME BITCH AT THE HOSTEL STOLE MY NUT BUTTER THERE WILL BE BLOOD
You would only karaoke to Spanish songs, but sang with the accent of the french candle stick in beauty and the beast.
Just remember that no one else gets to suck his dick but you, feel honored. It's like the Olympic torch of life is being passed off to you and it's your time to run
I think I had Hypothermia but was too drunk to notice.
Randomize
