i guess its not very common for a paramedic to have to revive someone who was struck by a falling shampoo bottle while getting off from the bathtub faucet.
Last night I apparently send my boss a picutre of my boobs. On the bonus part I got a raise today. So I just want to thank your parents for naming you Jeff cuz if I was not so hammered last night I would have sent it to the right one.
you dont have to exercise, you threw up last night!
i jus got home and totaly forgot i had nut all over the back of my shirt
..im mad u rememberd about that
whatever it's my dick and i'll put it wherever i want
Correct me if I'm wrong but the photo album titles "cause I've been drankin" and "baby jessica" should not belong to the same person.
Currently flirting with a 57 year old. Why do i do this
She is ok w me having sex for money. Just gotta find rich grandmas.
Yes ma'am. At least you're a warning story I can tell to my kids in the future
Guess who just got a Christian Beliefs class to seriously discuss the spiritual implications of dolphin rape?
Just from watching vine I come to conclusion that all pornstars are dog hoarders.
I think its awesome that i just got you to cheer for sex
Well sex is awesome. Sex deserves cheers.
I feel like emojis are just meant for explaining sex without using words to make anyone uncomfortable. It's a true gift
You walked right into the door. Even the door guy and security guys were laughing.
Remember how slutty I thought she was when we were freshmen?
Yeah! But that was a long time ago. Plus, you use your sluttiness for good!
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