Soo i just shotgunned a water balloon...
I showed him my bush... on skype.
I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
I'm 99% sure that for 3 hours I thought you were British. We must smoke that again.
whats a positive sounding word for "exploit"?
New game: Step 1) Turn on ESPN. Step 2) Drink every time someone says "LeBron."
Can you deep fry cheerios do you know? crucial question
As per my father's affair, married men are no longer off limits.
When he gets asked "is it in?" more than his name you arent missing out on much more than a petite tampon.
Well that's the second time I've broken a lamp during sex this month. Starting to worry I'm some kind of X-man. (this one was a wall sconce and I fully smashed it with my head and it crumbled like it was made of sugar)
He referred to our sex as being similar to "Two cheetahs cage fighting" and I have to agree.
We haven't been trashed enough to shut down a bar together in four days. I'm starting to worry that we're growing apart.
After we had breakup sex it took him longer to say goodbye to my boobs than it did to me...
The man who almost made us Eskimo sisters is getting married. Of course I'll be your date. We need to toast the end of his sex life!
I peed in front of kids, unfortunately
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