Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
Midget sex pt 2 tonight
theres no cameras in the kitchen right? cause i dont wana get fired for peeing in the kitchen in a cup
Trying to guess which perfume the stripper was wearing based on my bf's clothes
I come back into the room and you're grinding with the person in the mascot suit.
Ughhhh. Finnnneeeeee. I'll have sex with your brother. Sheesh. The things I do for you woman.
It was like die hard. Except with more penises.
But seriously, I hug most of my drug dealers.
Post-sex nachos deserve a song.
This number has temporarily been disconnected and will be restored to service once you get rid of you girlfriend.
I'm going to sing sad and lonely Barbra Streisand songs at the top of my lungs if you don't get here soon
Maybe one day we'll get unicorn butt tattoos together
Im pretty sure my housekeeper high fived her on the way out this morning
That awkward moment when you hear your boss yelling during sex while you're on her couch eating Easy Mac.
I just named someones junk. I should not be allowed to talk to people.
Randomize
