So, how was the dinner
Just like the ex wife, cold, fatty, and expensive.
is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
he just wrote my ten page research paper for tit pics. i love my boobs.
I hope my liver is having as much fun as I am
If you can't accept "I'm sorry I was mean to you" bjs from 19 year old girls, then who can you
I can't wait to be a mother. My daughters gonna outdrink every boy in her grade
From the guy that lifted you into a fan I'm sorry
We just started the day with vitamin bombs. Daily vitamin + whatever's left in your glass from last night = feel like a champion
I just can't deal with that sentence
I had such a pleasant walk of shame. The sun was shining, I smiled at all the high school suckers who judged me on their way to school, and I made friends with an old guy and his dog.
I'm gonna hire strippers dressed like the founding fathers.
I feel like a color. Like a wavy color
You've lost booty call privileges between the hours of 10pm and 8am.
Kinda. I got kicked outta the bar, and then incited a riot until the cops came and I bailed
Who was that dick in the suit telling us to stop drinking?
The priest.
Definitely didn't just make out with a guy the same height as me just because we wanted to see what it would be like to not have to reach up....
Randomize
