i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen
So instead of cumming in her, I peed in her...
What did she do!?
I didn't tell her...
That bitch is like a bad destiny's child song.
my brother is a facebook fan of two things: God, and Rhianna. if he's not a prime example of the rare "baptist closeted gay," i don't know who is.
you did pass out in the elevator last night, so it could be motion sickness
we made malted milkshakes. malt as in malt liqour.
I just figured out that you can toast a marshmallow with a butter knife and a cigarette lighter. I'm like a retarded Mister Wizard
Girl passed out in class and vomited. Another victim of syllabus week
I think i lit a firework with a joint. happy birthday, america?
Just did a keg stand the dropped my phone in the toilet. Sorry for partying.
You did a keg stand on the toilet?!
I praised you last night for winning a chug off...you thanked me with a ridiculously hard headbutt. Thanks dick.
Most of my life can be described like an HBO prison drama.
I didn't have anyone to cheers so I tapped my beer on your fish tank... a little too hard
He nailed that bed down really well so it won't break again. All I could think while he was nailing it was "challenge accepted".
you have 30 seconds to convince me not to grab this guy's crotch in front of his girlfriend
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