I swear she didn't look like that last week.
Never write on a napkin "my face, your boobs" with your phone number and give it to a girl. Just a tip of the day from my nightly experiences lol.
We need to hang out more often
you broke into my aparment at three in the morning wearing long johns and offered me beer.
I meant to tell you earlier: bad life decision saturday has been moved wednesday this week
Just got home and found him passed out with his ass stuck in a Rubbermaid garbage can. He must have been like that for a few hours
todays sighting is titled: Bum taking pictures with an invisible camera.
So Monday we're lesbians.
Deal. This decision is final and any rebates on this will result in losing an eyeball.
I found your doppelganger. same hair, eyes, personality, catch phrases, and penis. it was mind-boggeling.
I'm busy watching infomercials. I'd say I'll join you later, but I'm doing a shot every time they demonstrate how difficult life is WITHOUT this product. So I doubt I'll be able to walk in another... Maybe 40 minutes.
But feel free to join! A new infomercial starts in 12 minutes.
If one of us has to be polite I guess I won't sneak out while he's in the shower
Best ethics paper a stoner could write. I called my professor Dr. Superfly Arandia. And I'm pretty sure I used "respect the hustle" somewhere in there too.
My ass is in a myriad of pain right now
Lesson learned - Taco Bell before a long night of BDSM is a BAD idea
he had a bulletproof vest and a pocket full of lollipops! how was i suppose to say no.
If by science you mean beer then YES!!!!
I just came in my own mouth don't ask me how cuz it really hurt and felt good at the same time.
Randomize
