some dude just recognized me causeg he had a pic of us making out onvhis phone
New discovery: doing the Helen Keller is not as attractive as I thought it would be, in reference to the sex noises.
and when he finished he started shouting "swim boys SWIM"
If you are drunk already, then as your friend I am advising you to stop writing on your dads Facebook wall
I just realized I'm the burger in your burger and steak anology. Very disconcerting.
C'mon. I'm still an alcoholic at heart, regardless of its broken or not
I should have been on a postcard. I was sitting in the middle of the forest with a plate full of pot brownies and missing you.
I went eBay shopping last night. Turns out I brought a Viking drinking horn. I can't even be mad.
"YOU A2TE UNDERAGE LOL" Got that at 2am. Gotta stop dating alcoholics.
How are you getting in?
I know some influential drag queens
but how can he casually chat with my father 8 hours after asking me if i'm a screamer
well that's what you get for sleeping with a guy called 'the defiler'
Yo. What's your name again? You put "don't tell your landlord" as your name lol
the only decorations on the Christmas tree were twinkle lights, condoms, and empty natty cans. I do love a classy holiday party
But once you are just right and I work my tongue in the right spots and hot wax your balls and inner thighs. I will have you right where I want you.
Who is this?
Oops wrong number
Randomize
