I like the name aiden. he likes stella. I told him they're coming out of my vagina, and I will name them what I damn well please. Stella goes.
i'm going to be one of those im-wearing-a-shirt-as-a-dress girls today. dont make fun of me, i need laid
My therapist says she wants to work on my 'trust issues'. I think she's found the cash cow within.
The vibrator you gave me is probably the one thing I will never give up if we got robbed at gunpoint
apparently 20 random guys watched the process of me being carried on a mattress through the dorms
You kept throwing bottles at the dorm across the courtyard and when anyone told you to stop you just said "who are you? Al Gore?"
dude just did a line with screech. dude is fucking creepy
I shouldn't be home alone with this much peanut butter and the dog. I feel like i'm being recorded to see when my desperation will peak.
I don't have to hold her hair back as she blows me but I do have to hold the ball on the Santa hat
Dude I just saw a beer truck w taps in the side... It's like god heard my prayers and sent me a gift from heaven
We need to stop going on dates to the strip club.
I don't want to resort to having sex with people that actually like me.
I am so sorry. Not sure for what, but whatever I did last night probably merits an apology, so I'm covering my bases.
We need to know if his feet match his cock.
isnt it crazy how for years we were living our owns lives, and now only a wall seperates us?
stop. eating. my. shrooms.
Randomize
