i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
I think she just tried to waterboard me with her vagina.
he found my favorite bra, 3 thongs and a pair of jeans and gave them back. i love move out day.
Results of pregaming honors college basketball social: 18 points, 3 blocks, and 3 flagrant fouls leading to 2 broken bones on former valedictorians. I'm doing this more often.
If drinking before honors events and injuring our universities brightest doesn't get you kicked out of the program, you're not trying hard enough.
You're married and I'm going to make out with a stranger tonight. Isn't that weird? It's like a gap in the time space continium.
they knew we were both to shy to do anything so they got us drunk and locked us in the back yard with a tent. it was fuck or freeze
you have the best friends
All I can think of is a mama duck followed by her baby ducks, in brightly colored track shoes.
How high are you?
I sat on the bathroom floor yelling "hell hath no fury!" for about 20 minutes.
It's definitely revenge time.
I woke up this morning and I had the absolutely horrific realisation that I am the human incarnation of scrappy doo
just got a call from a life insurance sellsperson and apparently our xany dealer referenced us. not cool thats breaking the 4th wall
i knew my hormones were back to normal when i went to ikea and didn't want to fuck any of the workers
What the fuck happened last night.... I woke up with a bowl half full of ravioli next to my head, reversed on my bed still fully clothed.....
dude, you ran into a window then asked ME what the fuck I was doing.
as i was trying not to drunkingly fall off her toliet, i noticed her socks laying there. i quickly grabbed them, ran upstairs, and excitingly asked her if she had gotten them at sams club. she replied with, "...those are your socks."
I just baptized you in budweriser and you were cool with it
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