where am i from again
video games are the ultimate cock blocker
I want to get so wasted that I make middle aged irish men look like mormon girls
Lindsay lohan: road to jail is on E tonight. Bring vodka we are not missing an opportunity to make a drinking game out of this
my roomates packed me a lunch. it had bread, cheesewiz, a can of refried beans and a condom with a note that said "good luck on your first day". im not even gonna pretend to be mad.
Ive been home for 20 minutes and I'm already in bed with a vodka tonic
It's safe to say that our attempt at trying to fuck in the grand Sierra elevator was a bad idea.
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
Oh shit. There are penis maracas
you were upstairs in your room looking out your window and saw him puking in your bushes outside. you then proceeded to open the window and sing Come To My Window
I thought I was heading girls talk. It was the toilet. Like put my ear to it
Before you jump in that vagina remember there's a reason we call her Infectonator.
I force fed him french fries and then proceeded to tell him how sexy corgi’s are … it’s safe to say he’s not texting me for a second date.
Jenna is yelling bc of the condom wrappers and cum stains. This is the 3rd and last time you have sex in my roommates bed.
I just folded my laundry and I washed 3 pairs of underwear and 6 jizz towels. Clearly I'm quarantining right.
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