Why are you such a perv today?
This is a lot to handle
Oh shh
I'm kidding you prude take a joke
nothing like a negative hiv test and a bag of condoms to brighten my day.
You put a nerf gun to his head and demanded him to take you to taco bell..
its 4am and she invited me over to split a 'romantic bowl of frosted flakes'...really dude?...what do you think she's trying to say?...she better not be kidding about the frosted flakes though.
I just wanted to clarify that I am not bisexual and had no intentions of ACTUALLY penetrating my roommate with a can of bugspray.
I found you laying in the kitchen with a bottle of vodka and a slice of bologna on your face. You said you were having a spa day.
we left the music on while we were fucking. some kanye west song started playing and he started to cry
Straight guys just can't stay away. My penis must have pheromones or something.
...I think i just fell in love with a random undergrad at first glance. He was the awkward young adult version of captain hook. Dear god i need to get off this campus.
Strange request but for my birthday you should get me one of those vibrators that you can plug into your iPod that go along with the music.
i just googled coccaine effects on sexual performance..maybe im dating the wrong guy
I remember you fighting a small man for the last of the pizza. Was there a midget in my house last night?
We probably shouldn't have humped each other in a stairwell for an hour. that was probably my bad
What started out as a one night stand ended in him texting me the next day, saying he thought he was gay.
Hahaha wearing a fake moustache in public was the best idea i ever had
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